I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
