Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
