I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
