On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
