party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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