The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
