no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
