Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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