I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
