Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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