I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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