ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
