just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
