Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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