So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
two words: eviction party
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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