The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
