if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
