I'm so fucking centered right now
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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