She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
