U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
