please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
