Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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