Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
