and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
