Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
