But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
