3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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