Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
