This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
