hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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