I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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