you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
