I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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