All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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