So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So much rum. So many feels.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
