marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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