everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
