do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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