in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
