OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
