She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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