Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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