Porn is love you can see.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
