how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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