I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
