Jerry, you need to find god
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
