I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
