I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
