At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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