i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
