she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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