Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
