Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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