she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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