so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
