just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
