I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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